Reasons I Need To Disappear

by Scapeshift

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02:11
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03:01
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about

When we started this project we wanted to write an EP that not only showcased all of our musical roots and influences (punk, hardcore, emo, scrams/"screamo", and even progressive orientated music), but also could hit home with listeners via extremely personal and brutally honest lyrics.

We attempted to create a sort of "spectrum" of pop punk to emo with the way that the tracks are lined up on the short length; where songs closer to the start of the EP are more of our classic pop punk side and songs near the end show off our emo influence, while still remaining pop punk.

credits

released February 17, 2017

Shawn Giroux
Zachary McAlpine
Shawn McKay
Paul Tucci

Special thanks to Nathan Boots of Visceral Sound

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Scapeshift Windsor, Ontario

Four Piece Emo/Pop-Punk band based out of Windsor, Ontario.

//No one's crippled at ten//

Paul Tucci- Clean/Unclean Vocals, Lyrics
Shawn McKay- Bass Guitar
Emilio Quaggiotto-
Bass guitar
Shawn Giroux- Drums, backing vocals
Zac McAlpine- electric guitars, backing vocals
... more

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Track Name: Near Mint
The innocence, hold it dear
Now we just heal our wounds with beer
The dissonance, only when we share
Now it's just what we have to bare

If I could write I just might feel better tonight
So simple back then, no one's crippled at ten

Put your hands around my throat and never let me go
Hold on to my soul and never let me grow
Lay here with me as I cling to you so desperately
So distant and dependent

I'm a lost cause despite all this love
Please hold the applause and hang up my mourning dove.

Life makes a lot more sense when you're ageing backwards
Or maybe I'm just a coward

If I could write I just might feel better tonight
So simple back then, no one's crippled at ten
Track Name: Lead Heart
Everyday I play just to kill the time
Clock's never moving, the chime is all but soothing
There was a time where I smiled and had fun
But it seems that's done

Swaying on top of the iceberg
If I fall now I'm sure I'd land heart first

Let me secure your mask while forgetting about my own
Blindly suffocating a pointless martyr dies alone
This plane is going down I can feel it in my bones
Wonder if they'll say I was loved and write it on my tomb stone

If our roles were reversed
We both know that I'd land on my heart first

Don't pester the jester
If he wants it just treat him like a fucking leper
Don't pester the jester
Let him off with a simple gesture
Don't pester the jester
Others see trash while he sees treasure

I'm not worth it

Don't pester the jester
He's not worth it with a heart so tender
Track Name: Heavily Played
I can't hear myself think anymore
Unwelcome guests still crash on shore
Oh it's such a bore, my tear ducts don't get sore

I'm losing faith in, my anti depressants
Tired of sleeping the days away and,
This torture, this spiritual torture
Haunting every second 'til my departure

And it's testing my patience, this anger this frustration
Having pointless and fake conversations with everyone

But no body hears me when I talk, no body notices when my eyes wander off
Or when I wince as I bite my tongue, just let the smoke just fill my lungs
One by one

How does it feel to be stable? how does it feel to be able
To wake up each morning, without even mourning
The you who used to smile, and was so adoring

Life's testing my patience, this anger this frustration
Having pointless and fake conversations with everyone

But no one hears me when I talk, no body notices when my eyes wander off
Or when I wince as I bite my tongue, let the smoke just fill my lungs

One by one
Track Name: Teardrops and Art Museums
I can't help how I feel, I'm in agony
Can you fix what was never broken, it came in the box this way
Started in the void, can't get out of bed today
Guess I'm trying to avoid, this feeling of seeing grey

I live my life trying to get back into the swing of things
Always missing, always persistent
I live my life at the scene but always in the background
Just existing, a living shadow

But I didn't choose any of this
Don't you think if I could just flip a switch
I'd duct tape and board it up so it was always on
Yes I understand that I'm somebodies son

I'm told that it's normal, this everlasting boredom
as if that's supposed to make things better
Guess I'm not even trying, I'm not pretending and smiling
I'm sorry I guess I'm just a fucking downer

I can't help how I feel, I'm in agony
Can you fix what was never broken, it came in the box this way
Started in the void, can't get out of bed today
Guess I'm trying to avoid, this feeling of seeing grey

A living shadow, flat yet still hollow
A living shadow, I'm still hollow
Track Name: Eulogy (Good, Fuck'em)
I drive myself crazy trying to comprehend
The dots I connect it doesn't make any sense
I'd rather waste my days hating myself to death
Than hear how much you care for one more second
I'm too tired to be poetic, these sobs stories are just pathetic

Because your life is so hectic

I struggle to find where I'll end up when this world is so small,
And it doesn't take much to set me off, No it doesn't take much to set me off

Why am I the one losing sleep?
Why don't you struggle to stay on your feet like me?
I'm the only one with silver tongues that can't be won
How can you honestly sleep with ease?
Without burying me

No one's written off, you can't cure this cough
I'm always running straight straight for the tawse
I'm always on pause, my spine you sink your claws
Wounds will never heal, unless you change the gauze

My internal clock broke before I realized that
I'm done being a welcoming place mat

Why am I the one losing sleep?
Why don't you struggle to stay on your feet like me?
I'm the only one with silver tongues that can't be won
How can you honestly sleep with ease?
Without burying me

The sky's clouding up and it's windy again
Makes all these thoughts hard to write
The sky's clouding up and it's windy again
These starry nights were never quite as bright
Track Name: You Should've Left Me At The River
Every time it feels like I'm standing over my demons
In a flash they slip away, fabric's completely frayed
Is it really progress if your mind is still a mess?
If I still have these thoughts when I'm arguably at my best?

My apologies I haven't been completely honest
I haven't gained much ground since last August
Despite all the help I can't say that I'm doing better
This dance just doesn't affect the weather

Well on the bright side the world gets a whole lot easier to deal with
When all you expect and collect from life is disappointment

I find it weird how the worse I get my problems get less and less potent
Always one conclusion, there's always a clear solution
But I'm too selfless and stubborn so I deny myself that
And with it any chance of peacefulness

My apologies I haven't been completely honest
I haven't gained much ground since last August
Despite all the help I can't say that I'm doing better
This dance just doesn't affect the weather

I can't tell if I've lost the ability to trust what people tell me or if i genuinely don't believe them

Not much of a nihilist but I'm starting to question my relevance
I wake up nonetheless even though I may be hesitant
Not much of a nihilist but I'm starting to question my relevance
Is my life relevant?
Well is it?